


One-Trick Pony

by needleyecandy



Series: Silly September [16]
Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Crack, Fake Character Death, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-25
Updated: 2015-09-25
Packaged: 2018-04-23 08:10:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4869602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/needleyecandy/pseuds/needleyecandy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's the fourteenth time Loki has faked his own death. </p>
<p>Thor knows how to lure him from the shadows.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One-Trick Pony

**Author's Note:**

> Marvel Studios could really do with some fresh blood. This is intended to mock them, not Loki. I love Loki.
> 
> Enjoy!

It was the _fourteenth_ time Loki had faked his own death. The first couple of times, Thor had to admit, he was taken in entirely. Even now, when he thought back on it, he could feel the sharp, twisting pain in his chest, still enough to take his breath away. He had mourned from the moment he saw his brother's hands lose their grip and slip away, right up to the moment his father explained why he was to return to Midgard. And then the next time... it was exactly like the killing blow that had taken their mother. That time the pain was doubled, and likewise was the relief when he learned that they had in fact both survived. 

The third time Loki died, Thor had his suspicions, but then, his brother had been locked in battle with Thanos, who by that point bore three of the Infinity Stones. It was believable. 

But the fourth time, and after, Loki began dying for more and more paltry things. This time Loki had pretended to die from being served custard when he wanted cake. That really was taking it too far, getting the kitchens involved. 

The last time Thor had visited Misgard, he had found a store selling little figures for children. There were nearly all of the Avengers (the Black Widow was omitted, which made him frown) and several of the enemies they had defeated. Loki was among them. Thor had bought the dolls of his brother and himself and returned home to Asgard to wait. 

Family dinner was somber, as they always attempted to be during Loki's absences. Frigga sobbed loudly all through the cake and ice cream, wailing, "If only this was what we had had on that fateful night!" 

Thor had done his share of indulging Loki, as well, but now he was done with all that. He wasn't as patient as his mother, and after the... oh, ninth time, he grew tired of weeping into his soup. Besides, Loki liked tricks. 

He was on his way back to his chambers when he met Sif on the stairs. “Come to the tavern with us,” she urged. 

“I fear I cannot. I must return to my rooms where I might mourn in seclusion,” he said. 

She rolled her eyes, but he spoke again before she could answer. “You know how much he meant to me,” he said. 

“I know everything, exactly,” she said. “As do you. I do not understand why you all continue to indulge him in these petty little-“ 

“Have care how you speak. He is my brother,” Thor cautioned. 

She bowed her head and went her way in silence. Loki watched from the shadows, rubbing his hands together in glee. The great and glorious Thor, too sad to eat more than a few bites of his soup. The mighty and marvellous Thor, too heartbroken to drink with his friends. Yes, he would follow his brother to his chambers this night and observe his sufferings. He knew that he was being cruel in this, and he even felt badly about it, at times, but it was irresistible. Like the scorpion of the fable, it was his nature. But unlike the scorpion, he redeemed himself, each and every time: upon his return, tasteless soup gave way to joyous feasts, nights spent alone weeping in mourning gave way to nights spent crying out in pleasure. 

As he stepped away from the wall to follow Thor, he pulled the shadows around him like a veil, and bade his feet fall silently upon the worn stone pavers of the hallway floor. He stuck close to Thor, slipping behind him into his chambers before the door swung shut behind him. He watched as Thor heaved a deep sigh and knelt to slide a small box out from beneath his bed. Loki crept close to watch over his brother's shoulder as he opened it carefully. 

Within were two small statues, figures of Thor and himself. Thor took them out and set them upright on his table, standing to face one another. Surely now he would begin to weep, and Loki would reveal himself, and Thor would rejoice and call for a celebration and Loki would be the center of attention and everyone would be united in their overwhelming happiness at his unexpected survival. 

Thor gave the Thor figure a little shake as he began speaking, as though he were talking on its behalf. "Come, Loki, let us go riding together," he said in a voice even lower than his own pitch. 

"I can't, you know I'm scared of horses," Thor said in a squeaky voice as he made the Loki figure bounce. Loki's jaw dropped. _He_ had been the first to ride a full-size horse, despite Thor being the elder, and Thor knew it perfectly well. 

"Then we shall go exploring," said toy-Thor. 

Again toy-Loki refused. "Last time I went exploring with you, I broke a nail." 

Loki felt his jaw clenching and his skin growing hot. He had _never_ refused to go exploring with Thor, and he had never given thought to his nails beyond that required by hygiene. But already his brother was continuing. 

"Shall we read together?" 

"I'd rather not risk the papercuts." 

Loki's blood boiled. He was the only one who ever suggested reading, and Thor knew it. He was actually beginning to see red. Until today he had thought it but an adage. 

"Then would you care to visit the gallery?" asked toy-Thor. "The painting Mother purchased recently has just been installed." 

And then came the final straw. Toy-Loki answered in a voice so high Thor must have felt it in his vocal cords, "Thor, you know that I'm afraid of art, and-" 

"Enough!" Loki shouted, bursting forth from his shadows. 

Thor sat, looking up at him. 

"Yes, Thor, it is I, Loki. I have survived the terrible blow inflicted upon me, only to find my own brother playing games with my memory. It is an outrage!" he hissed. 

"You truly expected me to believe you had died from being given custard instead of cake," Thor said drily. 

"From a terrible blow!" Loki shouted. 

"Very well, brother," Thor yawned, rising to his feet. "I am retiring early. You are as welcome to join me as always." 

"I've had enough terrible blows," Loki said, growing resentful at Thor's tepid reaction. 

Thor just laughed. "Perhaps. But I have not." 


End file.
